


Moniker

by literature_and_ocean_waves



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Raven needs a hug, irene is the best girlfriend ever, kurt is a cuddly baby bunny, part of my au, polyamorous mystique is my most favorite thing, some angst but sweets too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6431770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literature_and_ocean_waves/pseuds/literature_and_ocean_waves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I like being Mystique. But I like being Raven and Mama more…”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moniker

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the same universe as "Nervous Sharks and Newborn Supernovas".

Raven tiredly climbs the last flight of stairs. Her back is aching and her feet are throbbing and she is pretty sure that she might have gotten a bit of rug burn from sliding on all those linoleum floors. But the sight of the familiar, crayon drawing-covered door makes it all worth it. 

She slowly eases it open. Doors in this house have an annoying tendency to squeak and she does not want to risk waking the bedroom’s occupant. Thankfully, tonight the hinges stay mercifully quiet. There is enough light from the star-shaped nightlight for Raven to see without turning on a lamp. Not that she would have needed any of it. Her bright, yellow eyes have somewhat advanced night vision. Plus she knows this room better than her own right hand. 

“Welcome home, Raven.” A voice quietly calls out through the darkness. 

Raven tenses momentarily, still slightly in attack mode. But the voice is immediately recognized and the adrenaline fades as quickly as it had come. 

“Hello, Irene.” She says. 

She does not bother to ask why Irene is here. Her visions would have told her when Raven was coming home. Raven opens her mouth to ask her something else instead, but Irene beats her to it. 

“He went to bed right on time and fell sleep almost immediately. No nightmares.” She says, shifting in the armchair. 

Raven nods and mutters a thank you. She perches on the edge of the bed, watching the child sleeping peacefully under a pile of thick blankets. He’s made himself a little nest, as usual, but Raven can see the top of his big, green pillow. It is a huge pillow, almost the same size as him, but he sleeps with it every night without fail. Raven smiles. He calls it Herr. Hugs because he can hold tight to it and feel like he is being embraced as he rests. There is a part of Raven that wonders if Kurt needs to sleep this way because of her frequent absences, but she chooses to ignore it. 

She lifts back the covers and gently scoops him up, careful not to wake him. She knows that she should just leave him be, that he needs the sleep, but she needs to hold him. His tail wraps around her waist and he cuddles into her chest, still clutching Herr. Hugs. She buries her nose into his soft, soft navy hair and rubs his fuzzy back. For the first time in nearly four days, she feels complete again. 

“How was the mission?” Irene asks. 

“Successful.” Raven replies, voice betraying nothing. 

“Any rescues?”

Raven shakes her head. “No. There were logs of a subject’s death from some time ago, but nobody else there. Think they might have been regrouping.”

Irene pushes her thick, black sunglasses higher on her nose. “Might have been a funding issue.” She says. Raven rocks her son in her arms, murmuring to him and waiting. 

“How many did you kill?”

There it is. 

“One.” She says. “Magneto got the other two.”

“Only three kills?” Irene asks. She sounds surprised. “Total?”

“Yes.”

“Huh. I thought… With a facility that size…” She trails off. 

“They were the only ones in charge of the experiments.” Raven says. 

“And the rest?”

Raven sighs. “Just hired guards.” She replies. “They didn’t know what had been going on at all. Emma checked.”

“So you let them live?” Raven can hear the disbelief in Irene’s voice. 

“Yes.” She answers. 

“They didn’t see anything? Even the crazy stuff with you all?” Irene asks. 

“They did.” Raven says. “Emma deleted the memories. All completely harmless.”

“Wouldn’t killing them have just been simpler?” For an instant, Irene sounds like how Erik used to. Perhaps that had been her point. 

Raven pauses, choosing her words carefully. “We… thought about that…” She says, hoping that will be enough. 

It never is. Irene just waits. 

“One of them…” Raven says, speaking slowly. “He… He had a little boy at home. Just took the job to support his son and his wife. Thought he was just guarding an ordinary chemical research lab… Never even had to fire his gun before today...”

“So you spared him.” It was not a question. 

Raven trembles. “I… I just couldn’t take a parent from his child that way…”

Irene has the decency to stay quiet until she can no longer feel the vibrations of Raven shaking. 

“And the others?” She asks. 

“Similar situations.” Raven answers. “Guards just trying to feed their families.”

“And the facility?” 

“Destroyed. Emma convinced the guards to all go home and tell their wives that they had been laid off due to budget cuts. Then we blew up the lab.”

Irene nods and absentmindedly twirls her cane. “Think anyone will ask questions?”

“No.” Raven says. “None of them had any loyalty to the place. Just normal jobs. And the sick bastard scientists already had had their necks broken.” She reflexively clutches Kurt closer to her chest. 

“And what about the higher ups?” Irene asks. 

“Janos is keeping an eye on things and will report back when he can. If anybody comes to investigate the lab, he will know.” Raven gulps. “And then we can start the new hunt…”

“How far do you think this goes up?”

Raven nuzzles Kurt, breathing in his familiar smells. “I don’t know.” She says. “The last one went all the way to bigwigs at the corporate level…”

Irene gives her a resigned nod and does not press. “Well we can sort it out when we get more information. You’re home now.”

“Yeah...” Raven says. “Home… For now…”

“What’s the matter, Raven?” There is concern in Irene’s voice. “I thought that you liked being in the Brotherhood?”

“I do!” Raven says, more defensive and forceful than she intended. “Or I did…”

“But what?” Irene is looking rather frightened. “Raven, please talk to me!”

Raven opens her mouth, but the high pitched voice of a child stops her. 

“Mama?” Kurt is sleepily rubbing his eyes, the ones he shares with Raven. “Mama?” He asks again, looking up at her. 

She smiles the way she only can with Kurt. “Hi, sweetie.” She says. 

He frowns drowsily and looks around. “Am I asleep?” He asks, perplexed. 

“No, baby.” She hugs him gently. “It’s very late, but I am home.”

He nods, though it’s more of a jerking bob than anything. “Okay.” He says good naturedly and leans his head against her scales. “I missed you, Mama.”

Raven feels as though her heart might burst; there is so much love and pain and joy and misery sloshing inside her. “Mama missed you too, sweetheart. She’s so happy to see you.”

He yawns wide and Raven can see his little baby fangs poking out. “Sleepy…” He slurs, precious. Raven tucks him back into his bed. “Go back to sleep, Kurt.” She whispers. “I will still be here tomorrow and we can have a nice breakfast together.”

Kurt smiles up at her, looking both exhausted and enthused. “Can we have bacon and pancakes?” He asks. Raven grins. Kurt does love breakfast. “Of course, honey.” She replies.

“Yay!” He squeaks and wiggles under the covers. “Love you, Mama.” He sighs, almost asleep already. Raven runs her fingers through his hair. “I love you too, baby. Sweet dreams.” Kurt is instantly slumbering away. 

Raven kisses his temple again and stands up, looking over at Irene. Iren has also stood up and there is a knowing expression on her face. 

“You don’t want to leave him again.” She says. 

“No.” Raven says and leads Irene out of Kurt’s bedroom and back to theirs. They say nothing during the short walk down the hallway, as not to disturb the other mutants, who are all deeply asleep by now. But the moment that their own door is shut, Irene speaks. 

“He is safe here, you know.” She says, standing in front of their big, four-poster bed. “He loves the family and all the students.”

“Of course he’s safe!” Raven hisses, angry. She is tired and bruised and does not want to have this fight right now, but dammit if Irene is not making it easy. “Don’t insult me!

But Irene, damn her limitless patience, is completely unfazed by her partner’s lashing out. 

“Lots of parents leave their children to go on business trips, Raven.” She says. “You are far from the first.”

Raven glares, even though she knows that Irene can’t see it. “Yes, but most parents don’t wonder if they are coming back at all from those trips.”

“Are you afraid?” Irene asks. Raven shakes her head.

“Not for me.” She answers. “I would gladly give my life to the mutant cause.” There is an unspoken “but”. 

“But…?” Irene probes and Raven damns her a third time. 

“But I don’t what to do that to Kurt… Or to you…” She is shuddering with unshed tears. “I love you both far too much to ever leave either of you behind…” The tears do spill out now, hot and salty and completely unwelcome. And Irene, bless her beautifully kind soul, wrap Raven up in a warm, solid hug, letting her crying lover bury her face in short-cropped brown hair. 

“Do you want to quit the Brotherhood?” She asks and there is no judgment in her voice. Not a drop. She will respect whatever Raven decides without question. Raven, unfortunately, is the one who does not have a decision. 

“I don’t know.” She says, voice broken from tiny sobs. “I like being Mystique. I like knowing that I, and my unique skills, am making a difference. Rescuing our people… Giving them hope out there…”

There is that unspoken “but” again and this time Irene leaves it unspoken. Raven, however, does not. 

“But I like giving them hope here, too.” She wipes her eyes and if she could look at herself in a mirror right now, she would know how very much she looks like Kurt when he is sad, too. “I didn’t think that I did, but I like the ordinary day-to-day stuff. Like… having meals as a group and teaching classes and reading stories at bedtime… Normalcy.” 

Irene rubs circles on her back and Raven tries to calm her own breathing to keep from hiccupping. 

“I like being Mystique. But I like being Raven and Mama more…”

Irene kisses her jaw. “Should we go discuss this with Erik?” She asks. 

“No.” Raven says. “He needs to be with Charles and their children. I am sure all four missed him terribly. I won’t bother him with this now.”

“But if you could talk to him…” Irene says. 

Raven sighs. “Even if I did, I don’t know what I would say. I mean… It’s not like I am the only one in the Brotherhood with people in my life… Erik has Charles and together they have Wanda and Pietro and Lorna… Emma has Moira and Azazel has Kurt just as much as I do…”

Irene puts a hand on Raven’s cheek forcing her to look at Irene’s face. Even with her blindness, Irene somehow always knows where people’s gaze is. 

“And we all have each other.” Irene says, voice firm. “We are not smaller families that just happen to live under the same roof, Raven. We are one family. Mutants. X-Men.”

“And Brotherhood…” Raven counters. Irene just shakes her head in disagreement. 

“The Brotherhood could not exist without the X-Men. They are a sect within the greater faith. A circle within a larger circle.” Irene even has a wherewithal to look proud. “Our beloved and honorable warriors who fight for us all when we need it. Strong and powerful, but never, ever separate.”

Raven sighs again, long and deep. “Why do you want to keep Mystique around so badly, Irene?”

Irene just smiles. “Because I know what she means to you, Raven.” She says and nuzzles her affectionately. “You have grown so much as a person since I first met you. And I know that she had a hand in it.”

Raven grins slyly. “Sure it wasn’t the trials of motherhood and falling head-over-heels in love with you?” She coos. Irene just playfully swats her on the thigh. 

“That is part of it, you cheeky thing.” She hums sincerely. “But you are a fighter, my love. It is your nature. To deny that part of yourself, to deny Mystique, would take away too much of the complete woman that I love.”

Raven says nothing. She says nothing for a long time. She brushes her teeth while Irene puts on her pajamas. It is not until they are both are lying next to each other in bed that she finally talks. 

“So what do I do?” She lies on her side and hugs Irene close, much like Kurt with his pillow. 

“I don’t know.” Irene says, threading fingers through outrageously red hair. “You have to decide for yourself on this one.” Raven had expected as much. 

“But maybe fewer of the violent missions?” She continues. “If it bothers you so. Their numbers seem to be dwindling anyway if these patterns continue. And maybe more of the Charles-style missions? You used to do lots of those all the time.”

Raven looks up at her, startled. “Erik’s lobbying ploys?” She asks. They had done lots of those in the beginning…

“You were the one who helped him begin them. And if my visions are accurate, we will soon need more of our warriors in the political arena, rather than the physical battlefield.”

Raven does not known entirely know what Irene means by that, but she does know that Irene’s visions always head them in the right direction. 

“I’ll think about it…” She says. It is all she can offer tonight, but it is enough for now. 

Irene leans into her and she relaxes, melting into welcoming embraces and scents. 

“I love you, Irene.” Raven whispers. 

“I love you too, Raven.” Irene whispers back. “Welcome home.”

 

The End


End file.
